The Pride of Awknowledgement
It’s Pride Weekend in Toronto, a time when I’m normally drunk for about 5 days straight, and on so little sleep, coherent thought is about a week away. This year has been different though. Maybe it’s growing up? Maybe I’m just going through a phase? Whatever the reason, I have now gone through three complete days of Pride Partying, completely sober, and I’m loving it… mostly. Through a series of unfortunate events, I wound up home super early last night (Saturday night of all nights). But it means I woke up early this morning, and with some time to kill, I enjoyed the early morning sunrise out on my balcony, with a can of Coke (even though Pepsi is the official sponsor this year), reading a bunch of articles posted to Facebook.
It got me thinking… which usually leads to something getting posted here.
It’s been a tumultuous year
This has been a tumultuous year in the LGBTQ community here in Toronto. Since Black Lives Matter staged their sit-in protest during the Parade last year, the community, even the city, has been divided into sides about how to proceed with their list of 10 demands.
Mathieu Chantelouis, then the Executive Director of Pride Toronto, has been heavily criticised for his actions of signing the document agreeing to the changes that BLMTO demanded. He admitted in media interviews later that at the time he would have done just about anything he could have to get that parade moving again, and deal with the fallout later. Between these actions, and other apparent internal scandals, we saw the resignation of Mathieu from his post a short time later. But he had a good run, seems the life span of an ED for Pride Toronto is only about 2 years anyway.
A year ago I was initially really upset at the actions BLMTO was taking during pride… but I also remember a very uneasy feeling as I saw a lot of the rhetoric being spewed by Pride Toronto leading up to and during Pride festivities.
Every occasion they would get, they would tout how amazing they were for inviting BLMTO to be honoured guests for the parade that year. It had a grimy feel of PR and marketing. “Look how activisty and political we are despite all the corporate dollars we sell out to”. It reeked of marketing, and a total lack of actual substance, which it later became clear, particularly during the parade sit-in protest, was exactly what it was. BLMTO was being used by Pride Toronto to make themselves look good. And it backfired. Kind of.
It actually (finally) sparked a very emotional, fiery, and necessary conversation.
Pride means different things to different people
For some, it remains a highly political protest march. For others, it’s just a big giant party. For others, it’s a celebration of what we as a community have overcome. For others, it’s a reason to leave town. For others, it’s something different still. But at the core, it’s about our LGBTQ community.
Over the years, as advancements have been made, the feel of the festival has changed dramatically. But it’s become clear that we have a bit of a numbers problem. Just like the majority of the population is straight compared to gay, within the LGBTQ community, the majority of members are gay and white, compared to the amazing cross section of other identities and races. The majority of us got to a certain point and are now satisfied with our progress here in Canada… leaving a still large portion of our community left dangling in the wind.
Last year, BLMTO had the balls to speak out and say enough was enough, and it was time to embrace and include the entire community.
A year of acknowledgement
Pride took on a new meaning to me this year. While the official theme this year is illustrated by the symbol “+”, for me this year the theme of Pride is acknowledgement.
I see it and feel it in a lot of different conversations and actions that are happening in all aspects of our society.
From the fiery debates at city hall regarding continued funding, to the fierce online arguments on social media, to the conversations held over drinks at the local bar, to the explosive Pride Toronto AGM at the beginning of the calendar year.
We may all have different opinions and views on the subjects at hand, but one thing remains consistent… we’re all now talking about it. And by talking about it, we do by extension acknowledge that there is a problem.
At the centre of the debate, the real mainstream conversation, is about the banning of Police uniforms and vehicles from the Parade and official Pride festivities.
There are some very passionate feelings on both sides of the issue. But over the course of a year, the sides are very very slowly starting to stop their cries, and have started listening.
When it comes to Police Participation
The reality is, there are still many segments of our community who have extremely strained relations with the Police. Myself, an avid (though quietly) Police supporter, at first found myself furious over the request to ban police from the parade. If only because of the numerous LGBT Officers, members of our own community, who would then also be excluded. It felt wrong.
But over time, some things became clear. Over the past year there have been a number of incidents involving our Police force which, just this year, have really demonstrated what BLMTO was talking about. Would these issues have hit the media had BLMTO not done what they did last year to highlight the issue? Who knows?
We saw gay men be the target of police stings in one of our city parks. Ok, it was about people having public sex, which is illegal regardless of sexuality. But it was gay men doing it. Where the contrast happens is that with other swift actions the police have taken in the past regarding issues in parks, they’ve acted as educators. Handing out warnings and pamphlets, reminding people that the actions they are doing are illegal. But when it came to a gay issue, they made a big media press conference about how they were arresting everyone, and giving everyone involved a criminal record. Yes the actions were illegal, and the laws being broken were not discriminatory as they were during the bath raids in the 80s, but the extreme response in juxtipositon to how they handled other similar social issues left many in the LGBT community feeling like maybe BLMTO had a point afterall…
Then there were a number of other isolated, single officer, incidents. These can be written off as just being a bad seed officer, except, in what corporate company is someone allowed to be a bad seed while representing the company? How is it that our Police aren’t held to the same standard? I’m not even saying higher standard, I’m saying same.
Much like Kevin Pillar’s unfortunate exchange that fired up the LGBT sports community, it all boils down to culture. When you have a culture which permits such talk in the back rooms, it will spill out into the public at some point, and will for sure colour how anyone involved responds to situations.
Brian Mitchell is the president of Serving With Pride, an organization that represents LGBTQ officers. In an interview with the Globe and Mail, he acknowledged that his feelings about the protester’s demands have evolved over the past year;
“I was originally pretty upset,” he said in an interview this week. “I think I’ve come to realize now that there are a lot of conversations to be had, and I think just going out and trying to push ourselves back into Pride isn’t thinking about the reasons we got kicked out of Pride in the first place.”
Many LGBTQ officers have begun to believe that the harsh words and hard feelings leading up to this year’s parade should be taken as an occasion for learning, not lashing out.
Sentiments echoed by Const. Danielle Bottineau, who serves as the force’s LGBT liaison. She wants to march in the Pride parade, but acknowledges that the force has some work to do internally before much progress can be made improving its relationship with the community. In an interview with CBC News, she said “We need to still break down some walls and some barriers and some issues around homophobia and transphobia,” also saying that the Toronto Police Service will keep working to improve its relationship with the gay community.
So This Pride
As I head out to the various parties, events, the parade, walk the street, and generally soak in the atmosphere, I’m doing so as acknowledgement. I’m not perfect, my views may not be perfect. But I admit that there are serious issues. I don’t understand them all, but I can’t support my community, it’s struggles, both internal and external, grow myself, and help make others feel welcome, unless I’m there.
Boycotting Pride, for any reason, serves no purpose that I can see. Pride is a lifestyle. It is a festival and an event. It is a movement. It is way bigger than the organization behind it. Pride is about the community. To be part of the growth, the evolution, the conversations, you have to be present. You have to actually be there.
To demonstrate support for those more marginalized within our community, you have to show up. Cheer them on as they march down Young Street.
Yes some of the groups have already had their own marches and protests and rallies. But at least some members of those groups will also be present in the main Pride Parade. Make them feel welcome.
As for the issues the continue to surround our community and our relationships, as Bottineau said; enjoy the weekend of celebrations and be safe. The hard conversations, will continue to happen later.
Happy Pride!
Cover Photo: Mark Blinch/Canadian Press via CBC News
